Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
