Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
