Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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