i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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