I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
