May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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