Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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