grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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