Me too!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
