You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize