Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You've changed since you got that strap on
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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