If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
