I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
