I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize