she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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