you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
