I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
