note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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