Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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