So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
