In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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