ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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