We won't sleep together?
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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