I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
