someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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