The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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