Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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