You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
