its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
