i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize