Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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