Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize