i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
