The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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