Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
