where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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