Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
