ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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