I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
