You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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