I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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