spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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