he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
