I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
ttyl tear gas
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
