I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
