you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
