My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
