people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
