do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
