Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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