P.S. I can't hear my feet
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
