Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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