try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
