she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
