She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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