if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
