Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i've created a new STD.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
