well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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