I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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