I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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