in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
