Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My ass is underappreciated
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i think im in europe. pls send help
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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