I CAN MOONWALK!
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize