you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
