What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
