Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
