its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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