I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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