; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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